Insights for Constructive Living by PAT IANNUZZI
All of us tend to respond to some degree to the feedback our environment continually generates in response to our daily behaviors. Much of the time we respond automatically. If we say or do something that has a positive outcome, we are likely to repeat it, whereas if we generate a negative result, we will probably not do it again. Our responses may be conscious or subconscious. This is a primary way in which we learn.
We can better appreciate the importance of feedback in our lives if we think of an analogy with a space shuttle heading toward the moon. The shuttle takes off on a trajectory designed to take it into a predetermined orbit. However, after launch, it doesn’t automatically lock on to a specific course and remain on it until it reaches its target. From the moment of takeoff, a system of sensors begins tracking the shuttle’s journey in order to identify any deviations from its projected route. It relays this information back to the shuttle’s guiding mechanisms, which make the necessary adjustments to keep the shuttle on track. Since even a minute variation in its flight pattern at the beginning of its journey can result in a huge deviation at the end, without this continual feedback, the shuttle would be unlikely to ever reach its intended destination
While feedback also can provide people with valuable information, few of us actively seek it out. We take what is routinely directed toward us by family, friends, coworkers and the other people we interact with daily, but we rarely voluntarily ask others for behavioral feedback. The main reason for this is probably because we inherently associate feedback with criticism, which few of us appreciate or enjoy. We usually view criticism as involving an expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes. It implies that we are doing something wrong.
Not all feedback, however, should be viewed as being negative. While it sometimes may be motivated by spite or animosity, most of the time it actually can be helpful if we approach others’ feedback from a positive perspective. Most people are on our side and genuinely want to help us. Their opinions can provide us with insights that provide awareness of our behavior and can help us penetrate the self-imposed blind spots that often impair our judgment of ourselves. This is why we should be open to feedback and welcome it.
Unlike a space shuttle, we don’t have an automatic feedback mechanism to help us make corrections to our behavior when we start to go off course. As a result, we often can go for a long time, or even indefinitely, doing or saying things that are not in our best interest as well as missing potential opportunities to grow and develop our behaviors for greater success and happiness.
Try to identify ways in which you can actively seek out feedback. Focus on situations in your daily interaction with others in which you can subtly or even directly ask them for feedback. Then, whatever they say, just thank them and accept it. Don’t argue with it. You can always take it or leave it, but at least by hearing it, you may increase your self-awareness, and for this reason alone, be better for it.
Pat Iannuzzi of Symbiont Performance Group, Inc. is a performance consultant, trainer and coach focusing on selling, presentation and interpersonal skills. He lives in Litchfield and can be reached at 860-283-9963 or piannuzzi@symbiontnet.com.
