#MIDDLEBURY
By Mark Vasto
We all hope you’re happy now, Chicago. The World Series championship … I mean, that’s just great for you, Chicago, except for one little thing: You ruined sports.
Yes, we know how much you detested being the “loveable losers.” We know how badly you wanted to be like the rest of the obnoxious winners across this great land. We hope you got your money’s worth at the bars in Wrigleyville, hope it was everything you ever wished it could be, because you took away the one charming thing left in team sports.
America is now completely devoid of a loveable loser, and there doesn’t appear to be any heir apparent. In essence, the Cubs success has left no successors to the (non) crown. Green Bay fans, New Orleans Saints fans … they have been satiated. You could have made a case for the New York Rangers fans that had to endure the chants of “1940,” or the Boston Red Sox fans that had to gnash their teeth amid jeers of “1918” while being force fed a steady diet of Babe Ruth fables.
The Royals won the World Series. Hell, even the Maryland Terrapins won an NCAA basketball championship. The Cubs were the last team that everyone kind of pulled for deep, deep down (St. Louis being the notable exemption), and there is no team on the horizon that even remotely fits the bill to replace them.
First of all, let’s dispel the myth that Chicago has been championship starved. This generation has seen the Second City finish first more often than any other city in America since 1990 when it comes to championships. When you add up all of the NBA, MLB, NHL and NFL championship wins from 1990 to today, Chicago leads the pack with 11 wins.
Boston (nine), New York (nine) and Los Angeles (eight) bow to you, and you’re not going to get any sympathy from anyone for being forced to watch Michael Jordan win six titles. You were never losers … and with the exception of those stuck inside O’Hare for a layover, everyone likes Chicago, so knock it off.
The question now is, whom do we collectively pull for? The Buffalo Bills would have been a good candidate, but let’s face it, you can’t root for the Ryan brothers. Notre Dame? Nah … win or lose, they air every week on NBC. Rutgers? No … they’re too stabby in New Brunswick. You can’t root for the Cleveland Indians as long as they insist on using that ridiculous, racist mascot, although you can now make a case for the Browns – post-Johnny Football.
I’m thinking that maybe the St. Louis Blues could work, or maybe the Sacramento Kings, but they’re not sexy enough, really. Army, Navy and Air Force … imagine if an armed forces squad could make it to the NCAA playoffs and knock off Alabama … those are teams I think we all can get behind.
Sure it sounds a bit crazy, but weirder things have happened … just ask the newly minted “lifelong” Cubs fan in the next cubicle. But to paraphrase Chicago’s own Chance the Rapper, hope you’re happy, hope you’re real happy, Chicago … that was such a selfish thing to do.
Mark Vasto is a veteran sportswriter who lives in New Jersey.
(c) 2016 King Features Synd. Inc.
