#Middlebury #WinningWays
Insights for Constructive Living
by PAT IANNUZZI
Unless we are facing a very unpleasant circumstance, we usually don’t look forward to change. Changing can be an uncomfortable process because it requires replacing old behaviors and attitudes, with which we’ve become accustomed and comfortable, with new and different ones that at least initially can cause some discomfort and anxiety. Doing things the same way they’ve always been done doesn’t require much effort or initiative. You don’t even think about it. It’s just what you do.
In addition to the potential discomfort presented by change, we may also come to believe – usually on a subconscious level – that what we’ve been doing in a particular way for some time must be a genuinely good way to do things, and the longer we’ve been doing it, the more we may be inclined to believe that. So change isn’t simply about embracing something unknown, it’s about giving up something old and good for something new and potentially not so good. That can be scary.
It’s important to recognize that things can and will be different from how they are now. Everything in our lives is subject to unexpected change, even those situations we dearly enjoy and cherish. Even if we resist or avoid it, change will enter our lives just the same, and if we don’t willingly adapt to it, we can be left behind to experience the negative impacts of not changing. Fighting actual or imminent change is always a losing battle.
Furthermore, we all have things in our lives we’d like to improve on such as finances, job, partner, house, etc., and we have to realize that nothing will improve by itself. We need to do things differently to make that happen. Without change, there’d be no improvements. As the saying goes, nothing changes until something changes. We can either be reactive and allow change to affect us or we can be proactive and drive change for our benefit. The choice is ours.
This doesn’t mean totally letting go of or abandoning what is working, but rather not clinging so tightly or fearfully to it that we don’t allow opportunities for positive change to enter our lives. If we try to adhere too firmly to our present circumstances, we may not only lose them as life goes on, we may also exclude the possibility of greater success and happiness entering our lives. Instead, we should develop an attitude that exhibits a healthy suspicion for the old and welcomes the new.
To climb a ladder, a person must continually place one hand over the other. So in life, we succeed not by hanging on dearly and perhaps fearfully, but by reaching out, taking on new mental and emotional hand holds and accepting, welcoming, and adapting to new and better circumstances. This applies to just about everything, from raising children to succeeding in a job. To achieve something better, we have to stop clinging to the present and allow ourselves the chance to grasp onto something different. We need to understand that we can never get to second base if we insist on keeping one foot on first. We have got to let go in order to grow.
Pat Iannuzzi of Symbiont Performance Group, Inc. is a performance consultant, trainer and coach focusing on selling, presentation and interpersonal skills. He lives in Litchfield and can be reached at 860-283-9963 or piannuzzi@symbiontnet.com.
