#Middlebury #Texting
WINNING WAYS – Insights for Constructive Living
by PAT IANNUZZI
While nonverbal communication has been with us since man developed language, it’s only fairly recently that email and texting have become significant, if not dominant, vehicles for interpersonal communication, replacing to a great extent telephone and face-to-face conversations. These electronic words-only communication formats are obviously very convenient for both the sender and receiver. However, they also have drawbacks and pitfalls that can cause some messages to be misinterpreted. Here’s why.
In a typical face-to-face conversation, three distinct channels of communication are taking place: the words, the voice characteristics and the body language. Words clearly convey the basic meaning of any communication. However, a speaker’s vocal characteristic such as volume, pace and tone serve to add additional meaning. Speaking loudly or softly; slowly or quickly; or with a harsh as opposed to a friendly tone all reflect a speaker’s intentions and disposition in conveying his or her message and can also have a powerful impact on how the listener interprets it. The voice serves as a kind of acoustic punctuation to the words, thereby giving them more precise meaning. Similarly, a speaker’s facial expression, eye contact and other body language features add even more context to the words that are spoken.
Psychological research has shown that voice characteristics and body language contribute a great deal to the total meaning of a speaker’s message, especially with regard to believability, and often take precedence over the words if they aren’t congruent with them. For example, a speaker may say “I’m really happy to meet you,” but if his or her vocal characteristics aren’t consistent with the verbal component, listeners are more likely to believe what they see and hear than the actual spoken words.
These additional communication channels are absent in text-only communication. This usually isn’t a problem in casual text communications, but it can be if the exchange involves emotional or contentious issues. A message sender may think he or she is expressing a certain idea or position, but because the receiver lacks the input of the voice and body language components that provide context, the receiver may form a different or even a totally opposite inference of what the sender intended, emoji’s notwithstanding.
Another problem with text-only communication is that it doesn’t provide for any real-time exchange of thoughts. Again, this usually is not a concern if the message content is fairly innocuous, but sometimes the lack of opportunity for seeking and receiving immediate clarity, can create situations that can complicate or even derail mutual understanding.
Therefore, if emotional or controversial issues are involved or if there is a significant potential for misinterpretation, it would seem to make sense to compose a text message or email with forethought and care to ensure that the message that is received is what you intended. Don’t assume the receiver is totally on the same wavelength as you are. While it may be old fashioned and out of vogue, pick up the phone now and then and call. Or better yet, meet for lunch so that all the channels of communication will be available to you.
“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant”― Alan Greenspan.
Pat Iannuzzi of Symbiont Performance Group, Inc. is a performance consultant, trainer and coach focusing on selling, presentation and interpersonal skills. He lives in Litchfield and can be reached at 860-283-9963 or piannuzzi@symbiontnet.com.
