#Middlebury
Winning Ways
By PAT IANNUZZI
It’s probably reasonable to say that most of us have at least one area of our lives we would like to change for the better. Upon reflection, we could probably come up with more than one area, considering the complex nature of our lives. Because we all have so many things going on at the same time, it can be really hard to focus on making a positive change in any one area. Our minds are cluttered with all kinds of thoughts about all kinds of things.
Change is difficult to start with, so trying to focus on several things at the same time can make our change efforts all the more challenging, if not impossible. A helpful psychological tactic that can help us navigate through our mental fog is to Pick One Thing, and focus on that one thing intently.
The trick, however, is to pick the right thing. How will you know what that one thing should be? This should take a bit of introspection. Ultimately you want to come up with something – big or small – that you believe will make a significant positive difference in your life. Here are some possible examples:
- Smiling more often
- Being more punctual
- Giving more compliments to others
- Listening more attentively
- Becoming more proficient in your field
- Exercising more, etc., etc.
Because you may feel you need to change several things in your life, you might resist picking just one thing, but numerous studies have shown that forming one new habit at a time is the more effective way to go, even if it takes a few weeks, when consistently applied every day.
Let’s say, for example, that you want to focus on becoming a better listener because you know it’s an important rapport-building skill. People love to be listened to; it makes them feel appreciated and important. In your daily personal interactions, then, ask questions of your conversation partners, allow them to express themselves without cutting them off, maintain effective eye contact, and employ listening body language such as nodding your head or demonstrating appropriate facial expressions. Research the topic further to gain additional insights.
Follow this process for whatever one thing you decide upon. Do this one new thing and only this new thing every day for a month, and it will become part of you. At the same time concentrate on the benefits you will receive from doing the one thing you’ve selected. When you pick just one thing to change, you can laser-focus on it. It will stay prominent in your mind, and you won’t get distracted by trying to do a bunch of things at once. Your effectiveness will increase because the one thing will be easy to remember and easy to do. Think of your one thing the first thing in the morning and decide when you intend to do it that day and, if applicable, with whom?
So, what “one thing” are you going to pick?
Pat Iannuzzi of Symbiont Performance Group, Inc. is a performance consultant, trainer and coach focusing on selling, presentation and interpersonal skills. He lives in Litchfield and can be reached at 860-283-9963 or piannuzzi@symbiontnet.com.
