#MIDDLEBURY
Cachexia
Max Ritvo
Today I woke up in my body
and wasn’t that body anymore.
It’s more like my dog –
for the most part obedient,
warming to me
when I slip it goldfish or toast,
but it sheds.
Can’t get past a simple sit,
stay, turn over. House-trained, but not entirely.
This doesn’t mean it’s time to say goodbye.
I’ve realized the estrangement
is temporary, and for my own good:
My body’s work to break the world
into bricks and sticks
has turned inward.
As all the doors in the world
grow heavy
a big white bed is being put up in my heart.
About this poem
“‘Cachexia’ is a poem Max Ritvo wrote during the late stages of his nine-year fight with cancer (Ewing sarcoma). Cachexia is known more commonly as the ‘wasting of the body’ and is present in people with AIDS, cancer and other diseases. Max noticed the shifts in his appetite and body despite his efforts to eat and maintain his nutritional status. Max wrote ‘Cachexia’ just a few months before he died. It informs the reader about the inner world of a terminally ill young man.” – Ariella Riva Ritvo
About Max Ritvo
Max Ritvo is the author of “Four Reincarnations” (Milkweed Editions, 2016). He was a teaching fellow at Columbia University and lived in Manhattan, N.Y. He died on Aug. 23, 2016.
The Academy of American Poets is a nonprofit, mission-driven organization, whose aim is to make poetry available to a wider audience. Email The Academy at poem-a-day@poets.org.
(c) 2017 Max Ritvo. Originally published in Poem-a-Day, www.poets.org. Distributed by King Features Syndicate.
